7.02.2015

Coffee Notes




The coffee,
even though it is left over from this morning,
tastes good.




kid's ink drawing found in basement





6.30.2015

Composition for Improvisation with C's for Piano






Start on middle C

Improvise on only C's 

Use all C's at least once

Create patterns

Vary the patterns

Swell and descend

Repeat

With the first note that strays from C, make new patterns

Continue

Stray

Continue






6.25.2015

Houdini: Dearest Love




Listen to this Houdini love ballade:

joanna dane, vocals
tad neuhaus, guitar, bass drum, toy organ, chains

I can't fight anymore
Halloween is here

Make a pillow of my mother's letters
for my head to rest for all eternity

Sweetheart, when you read this, I will be dead
Do not grieve
I have loved only two women in my life
My dear mother
And my wife

Yours in life, death, and the ever after,

Sincerely,

Houdini

who was once Ehrich Weiss


6.22.2015

Houdini: Letter to the Dead






Matt Turner, electric cello
Tad Neuhaus, electric bass prepared with chains
Joanna Dane, vocals



Who do you see when you see me?





How will you know when I'm gone?




Where do you go when I can not see you?
How do you disappear?






Where do you go when you leave me?
What do you conceal?




What binds will you put me in?




How many more days do I have left to live?




6.19.2015

Lost Idea





On the bike ride
I had an idea
that was so obvious
there was no chance I'd forget,
so I didn't bother to write it down,
a life changing idea
which I've now forgotten.






6.17.2015

A Writer's Diary



A Painting I Painted when Pregnant with my First Child


On our way out of River Falls we stopped at the Fox Den Book Store because Roseanna had seen a book she wanted, a book of gross jokes, so I also bought Virginia Woolf's A Writer's Diary in which on Monday, January 26th, 1920, she writes that she is very happy, "having this afternoon arrived at some idea of a new form for a new novel. . . . Indeed, I think from the ease with which I'm developing the unwritten novel there must be a path for me there."

In the introduction, her husband and publisher Leonard Woolf explains how she wrote her diary on blank paper that was then bound, 26 volumes in all.  How tidy!  Meanwhile, I am writing on this and that, half finished journals thrown into forgotten boxes, slips of paper, rolls of receipt tape, almost nothing dated.

This morning, I am torn between writing and planting the basil.  I was going to clean out the porch gutter, but the neighbors said they know a guy who will do the whole thing for under a $100 and that, yes, I should definitely call because, no, Andrew should definitely not do the second story.  They have four friends who have fallen from ladders and injured themselves, all academics, yes, but all in very good shape at the time.

It's taken me over two decades to convince myself not to feel guilty about spending so much time writing, and still I am not always convinced.

I like when Virginia Woolf says (p.46), "There!  I've written out half my irritation."

I suppose I am something of a monk, or a housewife, depending on others' generosity so that I may continue with this habit that brings me around to the same conclusions that humans have been coming to for millennium.

And now the kids are home.  Maybe this summer I will write only on this onion paper that I bought at a garage sale and then bind the pages into a book.

Often a new paper will invigorate me to declare a grand project, usually inspired by some book I start and never finish (To the Lighthouse comes to mind), and usually for some distinct length of time - a year, a summer, a week - grand projects which I nearly always abandon not long after getting started.

I could see this as a sign that I never finish what I start and get down on myself for it.  Or I could see it for what it is, an end in and of itself, a way of practicing.




6.15.2015

Work in Progress, Again





Excuse the mess while I am:

reevaluating
reconsidering
reconstructing
reorganizing
re-visioning
re-imagining
re-reasoning
re-revising
re-approaching
recombining
re-restoring
re-decifering
redefining

Your patience is greatly appreciated.





6.11.2015

The Elusive Henry Darger



After Elyse told me about Henry Darger, 
I sought out his photograph, of which there are only two
and I drew him,






puzzled that each rendering was so different.


 Later I watched the documentary In the Realms of the Unreal,
and found out that the few people who knew him





all differed on the facts of his disposition, his habits, 
his history, the pronunciation of his name.



6.09.2015

Mostly I Am A Circle

mostly I am a circle
though sometimes I am lopsided



and sometimes I am flat


there are moments when I'm bold
and moments when I'm faint

I can be very scattered


and edgy 


sometimes I'm a square

though I prefer a spiral

mostly I am a circle




6.08.2015

Little Free Library Find: The Essential Chuang Tzu






Chuang Chou wrote philosophical poems

anecdotes and conundrums on strips of bamboo

that were stitched together into scrolls, 

each scroll a chapter, 

master of the non sequitur, 

these third century BCE sensibilities,

the fascination with oneness, 

this ancient way to communicate 

not so vastly different than our own,

blog posts as bamboo strips,

blog as scroll.



6.07.2015

Familiar Patterns





I used to be so much more bold in the ways I used words, able to write for hours at a time.  There was a reckless way about it.

Now I write in small bits and then sit and think and notice all the birds that are singing and how warm the sun feels on my body.

I like to think about patterns; visual, musical, behavioral.  I like to ponder how recognizing and creating patterns is at the root of all thinking.




Yesterday, I dreamed up a squirrel with a mutation that makes him attracted to empty nut shells, so he only gnaws at the shells other squirrels have discarded.  He dies before he has offspring.

I like to notice how logical thought dissolves as I fall asleep.  I like to get as close to that moment as possible.  I like to have "I am falling asleep" as my last conscience thought of the day.

I like finding things I've lost.

It strikes me for the very first time that to decorate means to add patterns, whether patterns of lines made by streamers or of shapes by balloons or colors made by flowers.  







6.05.2015

Are you Ready for the Improv 2020's? Guideline #12 : Aim to be Underrated




Getting attention for making something stimulates the human being in a way that causes us to want to do more making.  The problem with craving attention is that it eats up a lot of our energy.  We get some attention and that feels good, so we immediately want more.  Where does it end?  If we are disappointed that only 12 people came to our show, then it doesn't matter how many come, we will be disappointed because that is how we have trained ourselves to think.

Someone once told me that some famous musician advices that there is always one person in the audience who needs to be there.  Play for her.


Isn't it possible to make the choice to thrive off the pleasure of making rather than the attention for making?

Isn't it a skill we can develop, like being able to walk a tight rope?


If we practice focusing on the making, and practice recognizing opinions as being light and ephemeral as smoke*, we can begin to diminish the power of emotions that drain our energy and breed our contempt: jealousy, greed, self-loathing.  We all have these emotions.  But by practicing allowing them to pass through us without becoming attached to them, we free up energy for our making.


Underrated artists have more time for making.  Underrated artists are more free.  Underrated artists don't have to please.  Consider becoming an underrated artist today.




* Just think of how easily our opinions change depending on the time of day, the weather, our mood, who we are with, our health, our expectations, our beliefs, our influences, our status, our clothes, our income, our sleep, our nutrition, our cravings, our addictions, our thirst, our comfort, etcetera.


all drawings selected from the tiny collaborative book "devices" 
Imagine City Park collection



6.04.2015

The Wedding Where the Gnocchi was Too Good



At their wedding,
the gnocchi was so good,
that whenever the wedding
comes up in conversation,
all everyone talks about
is how good the gnocchi was.  






6.03.2015

A Memorable Scene





A teenage boy and a teenage girl
on a date at the San Diego zoo,
the boy waiting for the girl
to be done doing whatever it is
she is doing on her phone
which she never is.




6.02.2015

Imagine Happens!



Despite the rain, at 5am, eight gathered to welcome the day


And even though it kept raining,


More people came, with music and dancing,


Doughnuts, coffee, and conversation,


Stories, ideas, families,


Hotdogs, pasta, cake,


Laughter and delight,


Until the sun came out


And we danced and sang and read poetry,


And made a movie and tossed an energy ball,


And played a spontaneous song for the setting sun.


Thank you all for making Imagine City Park happen!


Looking forward to the next Imagine. . . .